Friday, July 18, 2014

Kids are peculiar creatures

Disclaimer: if you are not a parent and want to be some day, this post is not intended to scare you into never having kids. :-)

I've been a stay at home mom for almost 6 years. In those six years I have learned quite a few, um, interesting things about children, parenting and privacy. I've learned lots of other things but today's topic revolves around those three things.

You're probably wondering, "what the heck is she getting at?"

I'll tell you.

The first thing I want to talk about is privacy. The moment you become a parent, you no longer have what they call privacy. Example: your child is old enough to crawl and you place them in what you think is a "safe place" so you can run to the bathroom really quick, only to find this as soon as you sit down:
(Photo courtesy of Google)

Privacy is a funny thing. There's a trick to it too. I have found that if you want privacy, leave the door open. It's crazy, as soon as the door closes their supersonic hearing enables and they know you want to be alone. They instantly run to the door and bust in. If you lock the door you'll hear pounding, pushing and jiggling of the handle (and at times screaming) until you either let them in or you come out.
If you leave the door open, they don't even know you left the room (most of the time).
This is true about getting dressed as well. I have a ten year old boy so this isn't a good idea now but it works for my five year old daughter. If I need to get dressed, I have more privacy if I leave the door cracked, listening for footsteps, than if I were to close the door...forget about locking it. Locked door=madness.

Another peculiar thing about children is when they start saying "I'm bored!" It's like they time it or save it until they see that you've changed into your workout clothes to start saying, "I'm bored!"

I find myself begging them, "please just let me get through this 30 minute workout! I promise I'll play a game with you when I'm done." They say ok only to NEED something to drink while I'm holding a plank position, trying to beat yesterday's time. I squeeze out the words: just a minute! Then they stare at me like, is it really that hard to hold yourself up? -_-

(source I do not own this photo)

I don't think I could do that with a five year old...or a ten year old.

Let's talk about that supersonic hearing for a minute. As a parent, all you want from your child(ren) is for them to listen to you. Ok maybe that's not all you want but just go with it for a sec.

As they get older they seem to switch that supersonic hearing to selective hearing. They begin choosing what they hear and what they pretend not to hear. "Hey Dan, it's time to clean your room." .... no response, no movement. He just waits and hopes I'll go away and he'll continue to pretend he didn't hear me.

My husband and I have tested this theory of selective hearing.
He whispers, "spspspspsp ice cream" and both kids jump up and yell, "I want some ice cream!" They hear what they want to hear.

Another thing I've learned is: never tell them where you're planning to take them. But you can't say "it's a surprise" either. Just simply say, "get dressed and be ready to go in ten minutes, you'll find out when we get there."

The reason behind this? If you tell them where you're going, they will be so excited they will drive you nuts the whole way there by telling you everything they want to do and see and buy. If you let their minds wonder a bit, it keeps them quietly thinking about what's to come. (Usually)
Yes this has backfired on us a time or two because kids are kids and very unpredictable. But the less details the better!

I've also learned that your kids aren't the only ones learning. As parents we learn every day how to do things better, be more patient, and how to live in the moment. Kids are wonderful teachers.


  1. I may not be a parent, but your post had me giggling and nodding at it because it is so true! I spend a lot of time with my nieces and nephews, and I am just their aunt and if they are around, these things all happen:)
    My sisters started planning trips without telling the kids (to keep the excitement down.) They do this all the time, plan and then pack the kids up and wake them up and as they are in the car to the airport they tell them where they are going. In fact 2 of my sisters are planning Disney trips for this fall, and their kids haven't a clue:)
    The bathroom thing is so true too, if I sneak in for a minute I'll have kids knocking on the door, trying to look under, asking why I didn't let them come in with me, LOL I get it and I only see them 1-2 days a week, I can only imagine being a mother with that 24/7, LOL But they are great!

    1. Haha I didn't know other parents keep trips a secret too! Now I don't feel so bad!
      I'm glad this post made you laugh instead of scaring you out of having kids. :-)
      Kids really are great. Some days are trying, but the good outweighs the bad days.


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